I am certain that there are many who will criticise, what they will describe as a shameless exposure - and indeed many who will exaggerate this to the point of referring only to the exposure of the girl, in their condemnation of my actions - no doubt in an effort to skew the bias and collect the undeserved votes and support of sympathy.
So let us set the scene & examine what alternatives appeared to be available, at that critical time - during the white heat of confusion and ambiguity - a fire that was lit by a telephone call - from the Philippines.
A time when my passion, my devotion to the relationship and our plans for its future was strongest.
I was about to make my second trip to visit her and establish a more concrete platform of arrangements - convinced, as I was after the first visit only just over a month before, that destiny was being so sweet.
It was that telephone call - which imparted the news of "the ectopic pregnancy" - that brought an intense awareness of my predicament.
I had, naively and unwittingly on my first visit, left myself exposed to a potential scam attempt.
This was starkly obvious and could not be ignored.
Concern over this was supported, in retrospect, by certain events during my first visit and by the requests for money prior to the phonecall.
It was immediately obvious that if my suspicions were correct, there were certainly more people involved in this than merely the girl.
In the initial shock and confusion of the time immediately surrounding the “news” from Mayen – and through my assessment of the risks involved to each of us – I made a decision.
A decision which had very little time to be made.
Despite many calls to Embassies and Foreign Offices, and despite their fully sympathetic views of those risks – the ultimate decision was down to myself.
The reason that logic was used in this decision should be perfectly obvious to anyone who understands how emotions are key to the success of any scam.
So – even though love and desire are still present and strong – they must be ignored.
The decision was made in accordance with the following logic.
If this is all about love, and Mayen is telling the truth – then it will all resolve quickly – I shall apologise for my suspicions, pay the hospital bill and fly out there ASAP.
Mayen is in the best place possible for her care – a hospital – my moral support is the least of her worries.
All of my cautious behaviour will hopefully be thoroughly understood and we shall proceed with our plans.
The risk is all mine – and is the risk of trashing the relationship.
If this is not about love – & Mayen is fabricating the story – my moral support is the least of her worries.
There is a strong risk of becoming embroiled in something undesirable, possible coercion.
There is the risk of wasting more time and money under false pretenses.
That was the dilemma – the double-edged sword of what that love represented.
It was either the honey in a trap – or the delicious nectar of genuine love.
I was to judge it wrong at my own peril – either way.
All the risks were mine.
Considering that – it was entirely my right to make that decision.
Considering also that the responsibility for the alleged pregnancy was a shared one – and considering that the burden of proof to demonstrate the truth of that pregnancy and any complications arising from it – resided 6,000 miles away – along with the original suggestion of that pregnancy – it was entirely my right to base my decision on an evaluation of proof.
It was also entirely my right to expect and require that proof.
Before my second flight - absolutely nothing which bore any resemblance to official proof had arrived in the UK.
At this point - only a fool would have proceeded with the trip - concurring with all advice I was being given at that time.
At this point - only a fool would have proceeded with the trip - concurring with all advice I was being given at that time.
After all, the "emergency" was already over - it should have been quite apparent to all concerned - that the stance I had adopted was well within the grounds of reason and common sense.
In order for that to have happened amongst all concerned however - it was necessary to have had a rounded appreciation of the fact that scams do happen - especially involving hospital fees - and particularly from the Philippines.
From the people I was dealing with (& many more - who have since decided to pretend and defend the innocence of these people) - I have never seen anything approaching a rounded understanding - only denial and defensiveness.
The response as received led me to be even more convinced that my suspicions were true.
I was now faced with a situation in which I could no longer expect to find honest answers from anyone directly implicated in what was appearing more and more like an attempted and organised scam.
The resources available to this group of people, and the determination to demonstrate their innocence, quite possibly meant that any investigation "on the ground" would not get anywhere near to the actual truth - and would be faced with a paper trail of manufactured evidence - and possibly face attempts of bribery to ensure compliance.
After all - when the complainant is 6,000 miles away - and everything is being relayed by information - how can information itself ever be regarded as absolute proof.
Much would depend on its perception - and upon the acceptance of certain trusts - which in this particular set of circumstances - were very hard to evaluate.
No response arrived from any of my pleas for help sent to official bodies in the Philippines - so I was left to deal with things entirely on my own.
Everything was being propelled along by that original confusion - the original horror of the situation - the torturous ambivalence and complete uncertainty - all wrapped in a deep attachment and love for the girl concerned.
My strongest need was to arrive at the truth - the unequivocal truth.
Something that would certainly not happen if I abandoned it all - shrugged my shoulders and wrote it all off as simply a bad mistake.
No - my conscience, my concern & love would not allow for that.
The only way - which was to become even more emotionally torturous - was to keep lines of communication open - to let it play itself out - and to constantly check that the goal of truth was not being hijacked by an imposter - such as bias or wishful thinking.
There were human beings involved in this - at both ends - only the truth had suitable worthiness as a goal.
That is what followed.
Myself - alone - facing the determined resolve and resources of the real estate company to prove its innocence by any means possible.
They were aware that the whole detailed story lay waiting - for potential public release - on my blog at MySpace.
This was the big threat - which was my only form of leverage to ensure continued communication.
I had not quite understood how ruthless and determined the people I was dealing with would turn out to be.
It was this ruthlessness and complete disregard for myself, or indeed a respectable concern for the truth, contrasted and intertwined with the emotionally manipulative power of the "relationship" - that gave me the resolve to eventually make the blog public - after I had examined the video of the scar revelation.
So much had already happened in the seven weeks leading up to this point - I was determined to expose what was most certainly an organised attempt at extortion - and in impenetrable barricade of denial and defensiveness from all quarters. The combined effect of which was to leave me quite disbelieving and shocked - but probably more due to my naivety than anything else - I had little realised that I would remain alone during such a protracted escalation.
Quite often I refer to this as an adventure - casually - and it still is.
Now it is simply a battle of medium versus message - those with the network, the contacts, the pliable support - the platform to virally hasten the spread of their propaganda - think to themselves, behind their mask of feeble excuses, lies and self-defenses - in the camaraderie of their campaign - in the disgusting contempt of their deceit - in the complete apathy and abandon to their own corrupt ethics - in their sullen and stubborn denial of their own consciences - blatantly in abuse of any tenets of human decency - they think that they have the upper hand.
The hand of cheating and subterfuge - of distortion, gross exaggeration and false accusation - of the underhand, the immoral - everything that is low - unchecked defamation - pure vitriolic ad hominem based entirely on presumption and pretence - this is the hand that they are playing from - these are the cards they hold and use without restraint - for they have no decency to restrain themselves with.
With these cards now on the table - we are supposed to believe that their truth is worth having?
They, who have stained themselves to the soul.
We know who they are - the main players - those who have raised the rallying flag of incitement and hatred - hiding away in their little hive - a swarm - a plague on the Internet.
See them all - a devil's coven at play - here in their pathetic hideaway.
Anyone who has contributed in the smallest way there - has been corrupted beyond salvation.
Let them dare to come anywhere near a law that is worthy of its name - of a legal system that is truly honourable - instead of hiding behind the letter of the law - and usurping its majesty and authority with threat - let them face the true might of its justice.
Let them dare - just let them dare . . .
In order for that to have happened amongst all concerned however - it was necessary to have had a rounded appreciation of the fact that scams do happen - especially involving hospital fees - and particularly from the Philippines.
From the people I was dealing with (& many more - who have since decided to pretend and defend the innocence of these people) - I have never seen anything approaching a rounded understanding - only denial and defensiveness.
The response as received led me to be even more convinced that my suspicions were true.
I was now faced with a situation in which I could no longer expect to find honest answers from anyone directly implicated in what was appearing more and more like an attempted and organised scam.
The resources available to this group of people, and the determination to demonstrate their innocence, quite possibly meant that any investigation "on the ground" would not get anywhere near to the actual truth - and would be faced with a paper trail of manufactured evidence - and possibly face attempts of bribery to ensure compliance.
After all - when the complainant is 6,000 miles away - and everything is being relayed by information - how can information itself ever be regarded as absolute proof.
Much would depend on its perception - and upon the acceptance of certain trusts - which in this particular set of circumstances - were very hard to evaluate.
No response arrived from any of my pleas for help sent to official bodies in the Philippines - so I was left to deal with things entirely on my own.
Everything was being propelled along by that original confusion - the original horror of the situation - the torturous ambivalence and complete uncertainty - all wrapped in a deep attachment and love for the girl concerned.
My strongest need was to arrive at the truth - the unequivocal truth.
Something that would certainly not happen if I abandoned it all - shrugged my shoulders and wrote it all off as simply a bad mistake.
No - my conscience, my concern & love would not allow for that.
The only way - which was to become even more emotionally torturous - was to keep lines of communication open - to let it play itself out - and to constantly check that the goal of truth was not being hijacked by an imposter - such as bias or wishful thinking.
There were human beings involved in this - at both ends - only the truth had suitable worthiness as a goal.
That is what followed.
Myself - alone - facing the determined resolve and resources of the real estate company to prove its innocence by any means possible.
They were aware that the whole detailed story lay waiting - for potential public release - on my blog at MySpace.
This was the big threat - which was my only form of leverage to ensure continued communication.
I had not quite understood how ruthless and determined the people I was dealing with would turn out to be.
It was this ruthlessness and complete disregard for myself, or indeed a respectable concern for the truth, contrasted and intertwined with the emotionally manipulative power of the "relationship" - that gave me the resolve to eventually make the blog public - after I had examined the video of the scar revelation.
So much had already happened in the seven weeks leading up to this point - I was determined to expose what was most certainly an organised attempt at extortion - and in impenetrable barricade of denial and defensiveness from all quarters. The combined effect of which was to leave me quite disbelieving and shocked - but probably more due to my naivety than anything else - I had little realised that I would remain alone during such a protracted escalation.
Quite often I refer to this as an adventure - casually - and it still is.
Now it is simply a battle of medium versus message - those with the network, the contacts, the pliable support - the platform to virally hasten the spread of their propaganda - think to themselves, behind their mask of feeble excuses, lies and self-defenses - in the camaraderie of their campaign - in the disgusting contempt of their deceit - in the complete apathy and abandon to their own corrupt ethics - in their sullen and stubborn denial of their own consciences - blatantly in abuse of any tenets of human decency - they think that they have the upper hand.
The hand of cheating and subterfuge - of distortion, gross exaggeration and false accusation - of the underhand, the immoral - everything that is low - unchecked defamation - pure vitriolic ad hominem based entirely on presumption and pretence - this is the hand that they are playing from - these are the cards they hold and use without restraint - for they have no decency to restrain themselves with.
With these cards now on the table - we are supposed to believe that their truth is worth having?
They, who have stained themselves to the soul.
We know who they are - the main players - those who have raised the rallying flag of incitement and hatred - hiding away in their little hive - a swarm - a plague on the Internet.
See them all - a devil's coven at play - here in their pathetic hideaway.
Anyone who has contributed in the smallest way there - has been corrupted beyond salvation.
Let them dare to come anywhere near a law that is worthy of its name - of a legal system that is truly honourable - instead of hiding behind the letter of the law - and usurping its majesty and authority with threat - let them face the true might of its justice.
Let them dare - just let them dare . . .
